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A small lioness pads along all the lionesses in Albert's den and sits down in front of the king himself.
"Why are you here in my domain, cub?"
The lioness looked at the king and furrowed her brow.
"Belittle if ye want, means yer a shitprick if ye act like a child towards a stranger."
Silence.
PREACH, PREACH. The Preacher has arrived!
Albert has not quite been the same since this day, the mantis is wondering if he should tame a new snake king and Alby just wants Albert to wash his cousin's pelt once in a while.
***
Preacher prances around Albert, subtly hinting at the Championship males being sexy.
Albert: So what are your intentions?
Preacher: Nothing much.
Albert: Okay. But really?
Preacher: You will fight.
Albert: And?
Preacher: And you'll bring me the balls of the losers.
Albert: For what reason?
Preacher: I love eating some nuts, a problem, you whackjob?
Albert: Nope.
Alby: Why does she still live here omg.
***
Flash flooding
Preach: Albert..Albert! You idgit! Halp I'm drowning!
Albert: Heh, not my fault you're smol.
Preach: So is your dick, now help me gah
Alby: ...She got you good snort
Albert: Shut it
***
Albert II started his reign. Preacher started pouncing around him.
Preacher: "So, Albert the Second I'm guessing?"
Albert II: "Yes."
Preacher: "You retained all of his looks, personality as well?"
Albert II: "Yes. I am just a younger vessel"
Preacher: "So you still have a small dick"
Alby: She adores you already
They both got surprised by hearing a quiet rumble from Albert II
Albert II: "I'm stuck in adolescent state, of course it will be small. But also a perfect fit for someone like you"
Preacher is shocked to this day. He did dare to talk back
***
Celestial event
Preacher looked for Albert II everywhere. Everywhere. And he was nowhere to be seen. Lionesses in the Pride were talking excitedly that maybe he disappeared and new king will come, maybe even Apedemak himself! She scoffed at them. As if that whackjob of a king would be beaten by the creepy and insane lion who talks to stars.
She did get the idea though. That starstruck psychopath always brought with himself other lionesses. Albert II must be there.
She was ready to see him shoving the nasty light bugs at the lionesses to consider his advances. What she wasn't ready for was the fact he was shoving the bugs at lionesses to get him some private time with the celestial psycho.
***
Droughts and Fires
Albert II: So hot everywhere, so little water..
Preacher: Thirsty?
Albert II: Most possible, you try carrying all this fur and not be tired.
Preacher: Eh, ya see I can help.
Albert II: Do tell.
Preacher: I found this sticky baobab sap that I can put on your fur and then pull it right on off. Like waxing.
Suddenly Albert decided to maintain a very big distance from the dwarf lioness, puffing up his mane and growling.
Albert II: Come any closer and I'll whop you. Or roll you in your damn sap.
***
Locust plague
Albert could be seen lying on a warm rock, pissed at the locusts jumping on and off of him and around, making mess of his freshly groomed mane. The damn bugs were worse than cubs. He didn't realize Preacher was padding by him and stopped until he heard her chewing something.
Preacher: Bug problem?
Albert II: Kind of. He pulled out a locust from his mane with his claws and sighed.
Preacher: I can fix.
She then did stand on her back legs, opened her mouth and blowed a whiff of rotting breath at Albert's face.
Albert II: Apedemak help me, what the hell did you eat?!
Preacher: The rotten rhino you made me eat, cheapskate. Fixed yer bug problem though.
A swarm of flies now surrounded Albert like a coat.
Albert II: ... Thanks.
FLAVOUR TEXTS
The Preacher greeted you happily as you approached. Then, she idly said she had this neat story from yesterday, but maybe you don't care enough to hear about it. Because you didn't want to listen to her yesterday. Because you were busy with other pride mates. No, it's okay, she understands. She's not as important as them. She's sitting very close now. Uh. x2
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