𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕥 ℍ𝕠𝕤𝕥

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

“Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host. Our tour begins here in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now.”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

“Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there’s always my way.”

(Thunder claps, lights go out, someone screams. Doors begin to open and lights come back on.)

“Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, “look alive,” and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please.”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

“And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please.”

“Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Doom Buggies pass into Library)

”Our library is well-stocked with priceless first editions — only ghost stories, of course — and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all retired here, to the Haunted Mansion.

Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers?

(Doom Buggies move into Esher Staircase Room.)

If you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour.”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Doom Buggies move into Corridor of Doors)

“We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhh, listen!”

(Door knockers clang, clock ticks. Doom Buggies move into Madame Leota’s Room)

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Doom Buggies pass into Ballroom)

”The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later.”

(Organ plays theme music. Two portraits shoot at each other.)

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖🕯️-------------------🕯️˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Doom Buggies pass into Hitchhiking Ghosts Corridor)

”Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention — beware of hitchhiking ghosts! They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!”

”Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖👻-------------------👻˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖