That's bad link for FF.NET.
JS.

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Okay thanks I'll get a different one! :)

This one:
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6207091/

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This one:
www.fanfiction.net/~bumblebeedionysus
I tried a new one, I think...

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https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/40636728-rats

You read mine, I'll read yours? :P

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Sure!! :)

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Username: emonarque
Story Name: Soul mates
Website: Wattpad
Rating: (1-10) 6
Good Things:
I like the general idea :) Sounds pretty cool! And I like Ricochet, he sounds like he has attitude XD

Things in need of Change:
I would do a spell check on the story, since there are a few mistakes. I think it would be interesting if you showed more of what was going on in Remmington's life before the whole glowy chest thing happened, maybe? I just feel like you delve really quickly into the action. It would be nice if you lead the readers to it a bit more slowly. Maybe explore more of his feelings and the abuse he endured at Byron's hand.

Also, the part where you describe Ricochet it like super duper long XD Maybe try and shorten it, focus on more than his clothes? Maybe like:

"Rem!"
I turned away at the sound of my name, and my face was split by the widest grin as I saw my best friend walking towards me.
"Heeey, Rico! What's up?"
He smiled back at me and ruffled my hair, something I would never dare do to him. He'd kill me if I wrecked his perfectly shaped mo-hawk.

Try to make sure that everything you write either helps flesh out your characters or helps move the story along :)

Other: I've read a few books where the author would alternate chapters between two characters' points of view and I've always found it pretty cool to see two sides of the same story. I don't know it that's something you'd wanna do, but I think it would work well with this story.

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From what I have seen I think you're really good! I think "Special Children" sounds really cool, while I do not have a wattpad account, so I cannot read all of it, I love what I have seen!

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*Emmon ~On Hiatus~ (#37702) :
I am doing a point of view chapters, Rico is next. I just split the first chapter and made it two. It was extremely long and i found a drama point. haha.
#1: The descriptions are meant to be long, for a reason, (although i do appreciate you telling me it was super long), they are meant to have an image in your head. I strive to be extra discriptive so I know you can see what I see. I haven't yet described everyone, for im only 2 chapters in... Haha. :) And he's a bit upset in the scene, due to his soul mate.
#2: the whole jumping into action thing. Actually, this is one of the first stories I've actually just jumped into... But the prompt i wrote the story on, started like that, so i used that part for the prologue. I do have some ideas, that may bring insight to the abuse. :) I'd love your opinion on them :)
*Spell check hates me... can you give me a hand and tell me a few... I probably missed them...*
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*PoppyFlower455- LTFC (Online) (#42014) :
If you'd like, I can post it on here for you to read :) And thanks. That was a dream i once had, so i threw it into a story and tried my hardest to remember it.. haha :)

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Ideas:
Remmi has nightmares, of the abuse, and it haunts him for how bad he sometimes was beat up. (this will also shine a light on his friendship with Rico)
---*If you have any ideas, please share... I get writers block a lot*-----

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Yeah! I would really love to read the whole thing! Dreams can make the best stories, hard to remember though!

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always hard to remember! but i wrote it the same day! I'll get it copied and pasted onto a topic! :) Want me to pm the link to you?

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http://www.lioden.com/topic.php?id=304429194503
thats the story!

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@Rico

I understand why you make the long description paragraphs, since I tend to do that too XD But, what I mean is maybe watch out for repeating words or try and work the description into an interaction?
Or maybe do some sort of flashback thing when he first sees Rico coming towards him. That way you could give more detail on their relationship.
Because, like, unless someone is actively staring creepily at someone they don't usually bring up that much detail XD

But, y'know, do whatever you want, it's your baby :)

EDIT: And the thing about delving straight away into the action idk it just makes your intro seem kinda rushed, and maybe doesn't explain properly to the audience why this is such a huge freaking deal and how much we should also hate Byron XD

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@ Emmon~On Hiatus~
I totally understand now.. Haha. lol! :) I didn't think about the staring part...
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i'll be sure to try and completely explain in dreams and such.. or random PTSD flashbacks?

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