America, explain (these items and others)

"Oh, I saw a Longfin Eel in the event tab for February! What does that item do?" asks a newbie.
"Wish I could tell you," say I, a player on LD for a year and a half.
"Why not?" asks the disheartened newbie.
"Because fucking..."
*I proceed to copy-paste the item description for Longfin Eel*
"... 'Slimy yet satisfying!'"

... Eh, what? What does it do? Is it a food item? Is it amusement? Does it give you stats? Does it boost your mood? Can it be used for nesting? I have no idea, never mind a newbie!
Same goes for all of the items in the above image, as well as some others (i.e. Rock, Stick, Honeycomb). Their descriptions are vague and do not tell me what this item that I have to purchase with my currency does. You could buy this item and have it not be helpful for you at all.

The point of this here suggestion is to make the use of these items and others more clear. Add a clarification after the fun text.