Dalamamurder- That irritates me as well, my problem is I like wearing """""""feminine clothes""""""" so people end up thinking I'm lying about being trans to get attention...

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doodally: I hate that! Sometimes I like dressing up or wearing a bit of makeup to feel pretty because, you know, I just have those kinds of days. And people go "oh so you're not trans anymore?" and I'm like? When did I ever say that? It kind of says something that I've taken to entirely dressing in """masculine""" clothes just so people stop invalidating my gender (not that it stops people from commenting on how I dress or anything). I've given in to the binary. Forgive me, friends.

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I'm personally worried that if I do come out as nonbinary, i'll be criticized for dressing/presenting too 'feminine' and i'll get told im confused or whatever.

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John Snuh, Dalamamurder- I really hate how clothes are gendered, it's so stupid... We should be able to wear what we want and not get put into a category for it. I get so many people (friends and family included) saying I should dress more masculine because it's confusing. Well screw them, I like my nail polish and I bought a really nice dress the other day. Sometimes I wear skirts and sometimes I wear tank tops. I'm not going to change just because it makes you uncomfortable that I'm not in a binary.

Also, being transgender or non binary isn't a phase, I have no idea where people get this concept from...

(Aha, I'm getting riled up now, need to calm down ^^ )

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Such misogynistic crap that people (read: society in general) conflate 'non-binary' and/or 'agender' automatically with 'masculine'.... since when is masculinity the default? (answer: forever :( ) Masculinity and androgyny are not synonyms. People have every right to identify themselves without being policed on their gender expression.

(To this end, writer/activist/biologist Julia Serano has a wonderful book titled 'Whipping Girl' which discusses the idea that markers of masculinity/maleness hold more value/weight/points than markers of femininity/femaleness, meaning that for every masculine marker a person has/shows, it takes double the female markers to balance or cancel it out... seen in, for example, the fact that hardly anyone bats an eyelash at the gender of a male-presenting person wearing eyeliner, but a woman with a deep voice is automatically suspect; or that a male-bodied person could be dressed to the nines in full femme regalia and still be called 'sir' while a female-bodied person with just a buzzcut will get misgendered and harassed in the women's washroom.)

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Mars Black- I've heard of that book, I've been meaning to read it for ages. It sounds like I already agree with it though, male presence is very strong and dominating in this world. Even agendered people get stereotyped into being drawn or represented as being flat chested (which is seen as masculine), thin and having colourful hair. Which basically says if you have a slightly feminine body your identity is invalid because that means you're definitely a female.

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Ahhh, ;; I might be meeting my girlfriend!

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Congratulations! That is tres exciting.
doodally: I highly recommend it. One of the best books I've ever read, and it came to me at a very important time. Even if you don't agree with all of her perspective, she offers some wonderful fodder to the greater conversation.

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TheFox-Ooh that's exciting! :D

Mars Black- I definitely will, thanks for reminding me it existed haha ^^

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When I first transitioned to Male, which was in the early 1980's, my Psychiatrist tried to make me go out to bars and "get into a fight or two" to "toughen up" ...she constantly tried to push me to do things she felt were "masculine things" (like having beers? WTF) and ignored the masculinity I already had, like it wasn't enough.

I changed health care professionals, and was told she could lose her license for that- I am plenty masculine. I am just not the 'beat the crap out of everyone else' kind of man. It's 2015 now, and gender 'stereotypes' have changed anyway... always be yourself!! I never regretting being myself in the end- I am good to go. :)

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RottAndArtist- Oh wow, they really told you to do that? That proves nothing though, it's just awful. I'm glad you went with someone else ^^
That's the policy I've always stuck with anyway, you know who you are and if you don't you'll discover it eventually :)
I'll never regret being who I am either, because I know that doing what I like doing doesn't make me automatically lean towards masculine or feminine :D

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RottAndArtist: That is intense. Thank you for being one of those who helped set the foundation for today! My partner is close to your age (from what I saw in your bio a few pages back), and he regrets not transitioning in his teens (would have been '86) as you did, but we both know it may have gone a lot differently had he done it earlier, in terms of medical help and stories like yours. He didn't start until 5 years ago, but his experience has been largely positive.
It all works out the way its supposed to be I guess! :)

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Ye,, Mars Black- I totally get that! I wish we'd been allowed to transition in our teens back then! Nothing makes me happier now, than seeing some young person get to take hormone suppressants, or actually get the hormones and other treatments right when it's become obvious this is what they want- Things are so much easier if they have support from day one! :D

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Well, hello. My name is Nichole, or Astra Moon, or Astra, or Nicki...you can choose which you want to call me, lol. I'm 30, married, & I'm a lesbian (if you couldn't tell by my avi, lmao). I'm frequently found in Main Chat, but not so much in forums. I have known about my self since I was roughly 15, but I distinctly remember being about 7 or 8 & telling my mom that I was going to have a wife (there's a story behind that....really!) I'm a patient, tolerant, kind & very sarcastic person who loves giving advice to anyone when they need it. :)

PS-I'm also one of the pending members at the moment.....lol

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Haha, welcome Astra ^-^ It's nice to meet you!

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