That'd be really nice, Hawk- I just finished, and i'll post it right now, and you can look over it.

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Okay, I read over it, and its not too bad. He seems a little flat, but that can be fixed easily :)

Why doesn't Aliester like people, and why do they irritate him so easily? Is it because in his arrogance, he believes them to be stupid and beneath him? Or maybe he hates himself enough now that he doesn't believe he is worthy of others? Perhaps its because he is afraid of what he is now capable of?

Why is he so short-tempered, and is it new or old? Why is violence always his first answer to people angering him? Does he really wish them harm, or does he regret it later? Is he rude to others because he percieves insult in nearly everything they say to him, or is it because of his arrogance? Does he bother to disguise it ever, or is it blatant?

And lastly, what does he like? Anything he cares about? What are his redeeming qualities?

Obviously his conflicting feelings about being a supernatural will create sone depth, but every character has to have flaws or strengths to balance out and contrast with their main personality focus to be more dynamic. You obviously don't have to answer all of those questions on the form, but i think they'd be helpful for fleshing him out a little more

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I see- i'm kind of trying to work out the causes of his new aggression and prone-ness to snap resulting from him becoming a were-feline. It's weird, I barely know what i'm doing.

I'll employ your questions to his form and optimize his character. Thanks for proposing them for me, seriously! I like to make my characters the best they can, even with my capability.

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- I can help on the behavioral changes part.

(I don't like messing with other people's characters. Too scared I guess. But I do know some things about unfounded aggression.)

Xo.... "even with my capability."? You are doing great, as far as I am concerned. Honestly, compared to me when I started writing, you are Tolkien.

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I'm gonna stay out of this because you guys are handling it perfectly and I'm scared of butting in.

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*half-hugs Darkness* Sorry about not replying this morning. Or, yesterday night to you.


(I totally did not stay up until 1:30am just to say that... Nope.)

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*quietly procrastinates* I swear I will reply soon xD

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... I'm going to go pass out. See you in about seven hours.

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Oki, when you come back hopefully I will have slapped myself enough {mentally ofc xD} to get at least a semi-adequate reply up

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-alsolemmeclarify
imtotallygonnareviseandoptimizealeistertomorrow
no procrastination hopefully i swear
hhhhh

ga h
Dammit- I was really anxious, and felt like I was acting dramatic and begging for support or something- and I don't know what the hell a Tolkien is (is it something LotR?)- a nyways

I appreciate that, Eden- kinda means a lot to me.

I mean- technically, this really isn't my first time writing, at all. I just get really shy and nervous and- I guess, when I try to socialize in new forums and roleplays. I've had lots of experience roleplaying. I started out in Animal Jam, met a lot of friends, lost most of them, advanced my ways, and when it couldn't appease me, I went onto the AJSW to keep me happy. Then the Great Depression of the Summer of 2015(4) happened, and then- I found myself revamping my ols account on Quotev, where i've spent most my time for the past.. maybe four or two years on.

That's basically my story, short, vague, without juicy details. On Quotev, i'm very honestly a completely different person. You could call me charismatic, eccentric, erratic, maybe even charming~
hhh it's leaking into lioden
slowly but surely

When I make great, absolute friends, I often lose my sense of grammar and just be.. random. Forgive me if that ever happens to you guys-

Of whom I hope will accept the official seal/title of liking-and-good-acquaintanceship, of Infinity/Saerielle/Xolani/Protocol Sombra, 'Losers' and 'y'all'.

be proud
and be wary of my ego
quick, the minimal attention and friendliness has gone straight to my head

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Relating to my history-

Not to mention, some of my first 'original characters' were lions. And I thought them up when I was really young and inexperienced. Like, only around ten. Little cringey me was super obsessed with 'elemental' 'chosen one' crap back then, so her Aspergers-plagued mind thought up lions. That lived.. in the desert! In giant, weird structures, like pillars and weird open floors.

That lived in two separate 'races' and had super cool special red/blue markings depending which one they were from! And a super special black maned lioness that had b O TH RED AND BLUE MARKINGS?? Woah!! And, like, had every power over lightning, fire, and all the jazz, too.


it's fun to ridicule your foolish past, ain't it? pfft
my memory is only good because the memorable hilarious things i used to do

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Also- wanna talk about the behavioural change things in the message system?- ew, why am I calling it that- you call them PM's on here, right? It gets confuzzling between sites.

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That's a lot of writing, Jesus xD

Also, J.R.R. Tolkien is a famous author who wrote Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, to name a few

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Xo. Dude. Calm down.
I know I stayed out of it, but that was only because the rest have already offered briliant advice; if I were there in time, I would've butted in.
Anyhow, as I was saying: You don't need to explain yourself so much. I'm pretty positive that I speak for everyone when I say that you're more than welcome to ask for suppprt or advice or criticism. That's why we're here on this thread: to discuss our writing.

Also, g'dammit, you made me reminiscent of my old edgy Warriors OCs. Why tho. Bad Xolani. XD

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Sorry for the late response-

yeah i'm sorry hhah
i ramble
I ramble really, really bad
stop me if that happens, please, I can ramble forever
once, i took up nearly three pages of a JW RP with my spamming and paragraphs of the history of paleontology and primoridal facts

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